The Place of a Child in The Home
The Place of a Child in the Home
We all have our own ideas of what childhood should be, but is it a true picture of how Yahweh sees it? I found several words in scriptures where no number had been given as a concordance reference, and they were not italicized. I found these to also to have been added, to help us understand? Most places where child is used deals with the adults involved, not the nature or nurture of that child.
(Jdg 13:1-7 TLV) Bnei-Yisrael again did what was evil in Yahweh’s eyes, and Yahweh gave them into the hand of the Philistines for 40 years. 13:2 Now there was a certain man from Zorah, from a Danite clan, whose name was Manoah. His wife was barren and bore no children. 13:3 Then the angel of Yahweh appeared to the woman and said to her, “Behold now, you are barren and have not borne children, but you will conceive and bear a son. 13:4 Now therefore be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, or eat any unclean thing.13:5 For behold, you will conceive and bear a son. Let no razor come upon his head, for the boy will be a Nazirite to Almighty from the womb. He will begin to deliver Israel from the hand of the Philistines.” 13:6 Then the woman came and told her husband saying, “A man of Almighty came to me and his appearance was like the appearance of the angel of Almighty, very awesome! But I did not ask him where he was from, nor did he tell me his name. 13:7 He said to me, ‘Behold, you will conceive and bear a son. So, drink no wine or strong drink, and eat nothing unclean, for the child will be a Nazirite to Almighty from the womb to the day of his death.”
[These scriptures deal with the announcement of Samson's conception and the diet of the wife during the pregnancy. Note that there was to be no alcohol consumed nor any unclean food eaten us it would pass to the child and he would be unfit to be a Nazarite. There has always been restrictions put on women during child bearing times. Many were foolish, but it has been proven that what Mommy eats, reads, experiences, etc. during pregnancy passes to the child being carried.]
(Jdg 13:8-14 TLV) Then Manoah entreated Yahweh and said, “My Lord, please let the man of Almighty whom You have sent come to us again and teach us what we will do for the boy to be born.” 13:9 Almighty listened to the voice of Manoah, and the angel of Almighty came again to the woman as she was sitting in the field, but her husband Manoah was not with her. 13:10 So the woman ran quickly and told her husband, and said to him, “Look, the man that came to me the other day has appeared to me!” 13:11 So Manoah got up and followed his wife. When he came to the man, he asked him, “Are you the one who spoke to the woman?” “I am,” he said. 13:12 Then Manoah said, “Now may your words come about! What will be the child’s rule and his mission?” 13:13 The angel of Yahweh said to Manoah, “Let the woman abstain from all that I mentioned to her. 13:14 She should not eat anything that comes from the grapevine, or drink wine or strong drink, or eat any unclean thing. She must observe all that I commanded her.”
[When asked again by her husband, the angels reply was the same, except he added further insight into her diet. No grapes or anything containing grapes.
So were this couple, who had never had a child, so wise they needed no day to day instructions on the many things a child needs to be taught? Would their delight in having a child lead them to be over indulgent? ]
(Jdg 14:1-3 TLV) Then Samson went down to Timnah and eyed in Timnah a woman, one of the daughters of the Philistines. 14:2 So he came back and told his father and mother saying, “I have seen a woman in Timnah, one of the daughters of the Philistines. So now get her for me as a wife.” 14:3 Then his father and his mother said to him, “Is there no woman among the daughters of your kinsmen, or among all our people, that you are going to take a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?” But Samson said to his father, “Get her for me, for she is the right one in my eyes.”
[Actions speak louder than words. It is apparent the parents paid attention to Samson's diet, but it is also apparent that Samson ruled the roost.]
(Jdg 14:4 TLV) But his father and mother did not know that it was of Yahweh, for He was seeking a pretext against the Philistines. For at that time the Philistines were ruling over Israel.
[Yahweh has a plan and uses who He will to bring it about and many times those being used do not have a clue what is going on. In the life of most children the parents are to be the authoritative rulers until the child reaches an age or maturity to be self-governing in the worldly things of life. If raised without a knowledge of clear cut right and wrong life becomes a place of confusion. (see 1Cor 14.33)
The instructions for child rearing are mostly in Proverbs and addressed to sons. But there are warnings about the daughters of men, and women and girls need to pay close attention so they do not bear any resemblance to those persons.]
(Pro 20:7 TLV) A righteous person walks in integrity. Blessed are his children after him.
[A child is effected and affected by the fathers example, not necessarily his household rules which are temporary, for one day they will be on their own. Parents need to be good examples, fathers and no less wives. Girls tend to marry or attach themselves to men who resemble their fathers or are totally different. Boys have this same tendency with their choice of a wife. It would behoove us to order our lives on the same path we wish for our children.
Haven't done that well so far? Well there is no better day to start than right this second. Pray for help, then ask others to pray for your enlightenment, which may not closely resemble the advise-example they gave. Allow for the differing temperaments in YOUR HOUSEHOLD.]
(Pro 20:11 TLV) Even a child is known by his actions, whether his conduct is pure and upright.
[Like adults, children have their own reputation in and out of the family circle. Naughty children are only popular with others who delight in the same behavior. What is true for the naughty is also true for the good- hearted and obedient child.]
(Pro 22:1-6 TLV) A good name is to be chosen rather than great wealth, and grace [favor and respect] rather than silver or gold. 22:2 Rich and poor have this in common—Yahweh is the Maker of them all. 22:3 A crafty person sees danger and hides, but the naïve keep going and suffer for it. 22:4 The reward of humility and fear of Yahweh is riches, honor and life. 22:5 Thorns and snares are in the path of the perverse, but one who guards his soul stays far from them. 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not turn from it.
[The first five verses cover some of the different paths of adults, but verse six turns to the wise rearing of a child. If a parent wants the first four traits in their child they will prune out those that lead to verse five.
The promise in verse 6 is dear to the parent of every wayward adult child. Those who raised their child in the scriptures and lived a loving life before the child take comfort in this verse. Those others pray the child will turn from the earlier examples.]
(Pro 22:7-15 TLV) The rich rule over the poor, the borrower is a slave to the lender. 22:8 One who sows injustice will reap trouble, and the rod of his fury will perish. 22:9 One with a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor. 22:10 Throw out a scoffer and strife will go out, quarreling and disgrace will cease. 22:11 One who loves purity of heart and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend. 22:12 The eyes of Yahweh guard knowledge, but He undermines the words of the faithless. 22:13 The slacker says, “There’s a lion outside! I’ll be killed in the streets.” 22:14 The mouth of a seducing woman is a deep pit—into it will fall one with whom Yahweh is angry. 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but a rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
[These verses, 7-15 are a study in contrasts showing the wrong and right choices and their rewards. Verse 15 brings about the choice of the parents to either allow the wrong spirit to flourish or to drive it out. We all know that a strong willed child is a burden and trouble to any household, for an orderly and welcoming home is full of peace and not contention. How can a parent drive out the contentious spirit without damaging the child or falling into an abusive rather than a corrective discipline? There is a difference, but how do you find it? Where is the wise consul?]
(Pro 23:1-16 TLV) When you sit down to dine with a ruler, consider carefully what is set before you, 23:2 and put a knife to your throat if you possess a large appetite. 23:3 Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive. 23:4 Do not wear yourself out to get rich. Be wise enough to restrain yourself. 23:5 When you cast your eyes on riches, it is gone; for it surely sprouts wings and flies off into the sky like an eagle. 23:6 Do not eat the food of a stingy person, or desire his delicacies. 23:7 For as he thinks within himself, so is he. “Eat and drink”, he says to you, but his heart is not with you. 23:8 You will vomit up the morsel you ate, and will waste your pleasant words. 23:9 Do not speak in the ears of a fool, for he will disdain the wisdom of your words. 23:10 Do not move an ancient boundary stone, or encroach on fields of the fatherless, 23:11 for their redeemer is strong. He will plead their case against you. 23:12 Apply your heart to discipline and your ears to words of knowledge. 23:13 Do not withhold correction from a child. If you strike him with a rod, he will not die. 23:14 Punish him with a rod, and deliver his soul from Sheol. 23:15 My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart also will be glad. 23:16 Yes, my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.
[Verses 1-12 give the right and the wrong of living for self or others. Verse 12 talks to the adults willingness to apply these rules to themselves. Verses 13 - 14 speaks to the correction dealt out to the child who will not listen. It also limits the bounds of the correction, Physical correction is a last resort not the first line of correction. Even the number of strokes a criminal could receive is spelled out in Torah. Certainly a child's correction should be less than an adults. Verses 16 and 17 reminds us this wisdom is coming from a wise father to his son and tells the son that attention paid to these instructions will bring joy to the father. It is the same with our heavenly Father Yahweh when we walk in obedience.]
(Pro 23:20-28 TLV) Do not join those drinking too much wine or gorging on meat, 23:21for both drunkards and gluttons will be impoverished—grogginess will clothe them with rags. 23:22 Listen to your father who begot you and do not despise your mother when she is old. 23:23 Acquire truth and do not sell it, acquire wisdom, instruction and understanding. 23:24 The father of a righteous one rejoices greatly. Whoever fathers a wise child delights in him. 23:25 Let your father and your mother be glad, let she who bore you rejoice! 23:26 My son, give your heart to me, and let your eyes observe my ways. 23:27 For a prostitute is a deep pit, an adulterous woman is a narrow pit. 23:28 Indeed, she lies in wait like a robber, and increases the unfaithful among men.
[The admonition to take no part in excessive living nor unrighteous sex as given here and often though out scripture. Verse 25-26 declares that the price paid for righteous living is well worth the giving. Not only are you blessed but also those who begat you are also blessed. Verses 27-28 warn of the destruction that comes to those who insist that sin is not sin just the natural bent. The prostitute is a working person and has no interest in the customer, just his money. An adulterous woman is a narrow pit, hard to get out of, because she seeks to steal that what she has no right to and to give what she has pledged to another. She will not let go at the end of the night. You think one night, she thinks when ever I want.]
(Pro 29:1-15 TLV) One who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy. 29:2 When the righteous thrive, people rejoice. When the wicked rule, people groan. 29:3 Whoever loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. 29:4 By justice a king brings stability to a land, but one who takes bribes brings it ruin. 29:5 A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet. 29:6 In an evil man’s wrong doing is a trap, but the righteous sings and rejoices. 29:7 A righteous person considers justice for the poor. The wicked one has no such concern. 29:8 Mockers incite a city, but wise men turn away anger. 29:9 If a wise man argues with a foolish man, he rants or laughs, with no resolution. 29:10 Bloodthirsty people hate a man of integrity and seek the soul of the upright. 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his temper, but a wise man holds it back. 29:12 If a ruler listens to lies, all his servants will be wicked. 29:13 The poor man and the oppressor have this in common: Yahweh gives light to the eyes of both. 29:14 If a king judges the poor with truth, his throne will always be secure. 29:15 A rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
[Verses 1-14 give the choices and their consequences. Verse 15 gives the result when a child is allowed to choose their own path. I once had a parent ask my opinion on their parenting saying, “our friends and family have accused us of making clones of our children instead of letting them find their own ways.” My reply was the question, “Do you consider yourselves to be living a good example? Do you want your children to have the same boundaries you have?” The reply was a resounding Yes! Then I asked: why, then would you not want them to be like you? Why would you set them adrift in a wicked world without a compass to bring them to a safe end? I would ask you the same question? Are you a good example? If not why not change and become what you want your children to become?]
(Pro 29:17 TLV) Correct your son and he will give you rest. He will bring delight to your soul.
[The child who will accept correction is a joy and delight not only to their family for all who meet them.]
(Pro 29:21 TLV) If someone pampers his slave from childhood in the end he will be ungrateful.
[Verses 18-20 speaks to a hired servant but verse 21 speak of a servant raised up as a child of the household. At sometime the difference between the begotten of the house and the servant will be made clear to the servant and resentment sets in. They [the servant] have done all asked of them yet the children by birth are given inheritances, and privileges in adulthood, no matter their actions, and the servant is not.]
[Samuel who was with righteous parents only until he was weaned, usually between 3 to 5 years, and then was placed with Eli to become a servant of Yahweh.
It appears his parents of origin gave him what he needed to discern between good and evil and Eli's instruction in Torah brought him to righteous adulthood. Even he failed to raise a wholly righteous household.
We have Timothy who was raised in an apparently religiously divided home and left to the women to raise and instruct. We have the evidence of his righteous obedience when called to the work of spreading the word of Yahshua's work. We are called to order our own households not those of our neighbors. Be careful and prayerful when you feel called to interfere in the lives of others!
Scripture gives commandment to offer protection and provision when a slave seeks freedom within our gates. But your first responsibility is to those born in your household. Do you have the spiritual and adult maturity necessary to be the provision to others? Is there a chance they could be a danger to any of your household? If there is any doubt, any doubt at all, send them to another but do not cast them adrift.
Why do I say this? My parents took in the 'bad boys' in our neighborhood and I was harmed as a result, not that I ever told because they threatened so I kept still, until today. Do Not Expect Your Children to confide their every fear to you if you have not given concerned attention to their ‘little’ cares as tots. You may have shared them with others because it was so cute or touching, and in doing so shown that you do not keep confidences so it is really not safe to tell you if they are fearful.]